There was this girl today. I walked into the inner circle and saw my friend Rachel, so naturally I strike up a conversation with her, I look up randomly and saw this girl smiling directly at me. I have never seen her before but boy, was she pretty. I eventually get some food with Rachel and the same thing kept occurring while I was just chatting away. I saw Enrique an old high school friend, who was sitting at the same table as the girl. I came up and hugged him and we started talking, my inner comic geek was elated, and talked about how awesome watchmen was, and my favorite character, Rorschach, along with some of his friends as well. Same theme kept going on with the girl but a little less now since I was a lot closer in proximity. Finally time to meet with my group partners in the library. Before I left I ask my Enrique in Spanish to guise what I had to say, “do you know that girl?” And he responds back in Spanish as well, “yeah I know her..” (And here’s where I get excited but then drop back down to earth as I knew I had no chance again) “she cool but she has a boyfriend.” God. fucking. damn. it. For the moment that I had once in a few occasions that I get the balls to just say hi to this stranger, it all went for naught. To compound that, hot hipster chick[from my previous post] walked the same direction by us as my friend and I were headed to where we needed to go. I just.. I.. Damn it. Haha!
"One more tear falling down your face..
Doesn’t mean that much to the world.
One more loss, in a losing life..
Doesn’t hurt so bad, Anymore..”
You and I have traded glances from afar. I first saw you about a year ago or maybe even more than that. I was sitting with a friend on the top of the staggered seats as you walked into the cafeteria. You immediately caught my attention as you daintily walked towards your friends. Maybe it was the way your hair curled, maybe it was your alluring eyes, or maybe it was that smile of yours that made me take notice even more. I’ll never be sure. I wanted to come up to you, and just say hi. I hoped that in doing so, you would want to get to know me better the same way I wanted to get to know you better. I just couldn’t muster up the courage to go up to you. I didn’t have confidence in my words, or my conviction. I.. was still broken. It’s not out of pity for myself that I couldn’t do it, it was to try and save me from possible let down. I just wouldn’t be worth your time is all. But when you left, you gave me a look back, and gave me that smile of yours that I was so fond of. Just with that, I felt hopeful that I would come across you more and more. That I would climb out of the hole I was in, and finally just say something, anything.
After summer break, I came back a new me: My hair, my clothes, my demeanor, my weight/health. I climbed out of my hole, I became the person that I was always supposed to be. I’m right where I wanted to be. This is it, I was finally going to say hi to you. Even if it didn’t go well, at least I knew what your voice sounded like, what you were like. I looked forward to crossing paths with you again. When I finally saw you, the circumstances were unfortunate as we were both headed to class in opposite directions. Although you were talking to your friend, you still caught my glance and gave me a smile. I smiled a crooked smile back. I did something, right? Still, It warmed my heart that you still noticed, and maybe even remembered me. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see you again until the last week of the fall semester, before winter break.
I guess it was pure luck that I got out of class, and was able to come across you at the train station. I remember being so tired from the all nighters from the previous nights. As I descended down the flight of stairs from the station and onto the platform, that cloudy and hazy day got a little clearer and brighter. I saw you again. Out of courtesy(or what I convince myself I did), I just let you be with your friends. I sat there on a little perch-like bar, but did so in a manner that you would you to see me. But I know you already saw me when I passed you and your friends to get to my spot, I always waited for the train there. I saw your gaze from the corner of my eye. The train arrived, we both entered the door sheepishly avoiding each other’s gaze. You and your friends sat all the way at the other end, opposite of where we entered. I looked over in your general direction pretending to read the ads on the ceiling. You were talking to your friends, glancing toward random but arbitrary spots. You and I both knew what we were really trying to do. As your stop came by too quickly, we left without words but we had one final long glace at each other. Time stood still, even for just a moment. My mouth froze, and my eyes were just fixated on you.
This time, I know. I know I have to try and get to know you. No more planning, no more waiting for the right moment, no more. If I keep waiting you’ll easily be courted by another gentleman. You’re that attractive, I think you have a clue that you are. I just need to do it, this time without fear and hesitation. Maybe it’s time you and I get to know each other. I hope I see you around.